* A few clowns short of a circus.
* A few fries short of a Happy Meal.
* An experiment in Artificial Stupidity.
* A few beers short of a six-pack.
* Dumber than a box of hair.
* A few peas short of a casserole.
* Doesn't have all her cornflakes in one box.
* The wheel's spinning, but the hamster's dead.
* One Fruit Loop shy of a full bowl.
* One taco short of a combination plate.
* A few feathers short of a whole duck.
* All foam, no beer.
* The cheese slid off her cracker.
* Body by Fisher, brains by Mattel.
* Couldn't pour water out of a boot with instructions on the heel.
* He fell out of the stupid tree and hit every branch on the way down.
* An intellect rivaled only by garden tools.
* As smart as bait.
* Chimney's clogged.
* Doesn't have all his dogs on one leash.
* Doesn't know much but leads the league in nostril hair.
* Elevator doesn't go all the way to the top floor.
* Forgot to pay her brain bill.
* Her sewing machine's out of thread.
* His antenna doesn't pick up all the channels.
* His belt doesn't go through all the loops.
* If she had another brain, it would be lonely.
* Missing a few buttons on his remote control.
* No grain in the silo.
* Proof that evolution CAN go in reverse.
* Receiver is off the hook.
* Several nuts short of a full pouch.
* Skylight leaks a little.
* Slinky's kinked.
* Surfing in Nebraska.
* Too much yardage between the goal posts.
* Not the sharpest knife in the drawer.
* The lights are on, but nobody's home.
* 24 cents short of a quarter.