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Joke Home > Work Jokes > I wanna become a Conducter!

I wanna become a Conducter!

Total Views: 12,419 Last Updated: 6/25/2003 Number Votes: 44 | Average: 0.11

This is an application for a scholarship.        To:Dean Simmons, Delaware School for Railray Conductors:      Dear Sir,     I am writing you in essay as my application to your wonderful facility, and requesting at this time concern for a full scholarship. My Grade Point average in my school was 2.3.    I don't get out much, and so instead of telling you all my stuff that doesn't apply here, Like being in 4-H or an eagle scout(Wich I was never one of either.), I am going to tell you specifically about my love of trains.      It all started on my 8th Birthday. My father had gotten a good bonus that year, and had decided to get me a full series Lionel train set. Over 300 different cars and 12 engines.Which I instantly fell in love with, as me and my father built a full environment for them in his garage, during an accident, I cut off my left thumb. But hospital sewed it back on, but they were in a rush, and put it on backwards. It looks really cool and I will show it to you when I get the scholarship.     Shortly afterwards, I found out about putting dry ice in plastic bottle, and would set up bombs that the trains would crash into right as they met each other on the railroad tracks. On a typical day, I would destroy 5 different cars doing that, and those things can go through 3 or 4 explosions. But I had the money because of the lawsuit we won with that hospital and the thumb...    When I was 12, I decided that I wanted to see how real trains would compare. So I set little bombs on the track. Needless to say, these didn't even rattle the train, so one day I set a couple 10 foot piece of re-bar and 4 railway ties in the track.     I saw the awesome spectacle of a 21 car train derail, Nobody was hurt, because the engine stayed on, and the cargo cars were all empty. I saw how much power and damage they can do when they derail in the middle of a town though. That image still brings back memories of what I did. But I promised my psychiatrist that I would never do that again, because that is what bad boys do...    In conclusion, I have been on the streets now for 2 years because of the lawsuit that happened when I was 12. Something about the statute of limitations allowing them to wait and take my money. But they were no longer able to enforce the rule that I had to remain away from any railray on foot, and that if it happened again, I would go to jail. So this is allowing me to persue my dream job, of operating one of your fine trains.     Sincerly,   Dave Tyler,   Inmate #10943  Family Matters Psychiatric Institution,    P.S.   I have already recieved an offer from Amtrack, and await to hear yours. 

Thanks to Chris Collins for this joke. 

Work Jokes > Joke 19 of 43 in the Work Jokes category.
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