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Joke Home > Sport Jokes > Quotes From the World of Sports

Quotes From the World of Sports

Total Views: 10,707 Last Updated: 10/8/2002 Number Votes: 47 | Average: 0.21

"You guys pair up in groups of three, then line up in a circle."
-- Bill Peterson, a Florida State football coach

"That's so when I forget how to spell my name, I can still find my clothes."
-- Stu Grimson, Chicago Blackhawks left wing, explaining why he keeps a color photo of himself above his locker

"You guys line up alphabetically by height."
-- Casey Stengel, long time manager of the New York Yankees, while he subsequently was managing the hapless 1962 New York Mets

"I play football, I'm not trying to be a professor. The tests don't seem to make sense to me, measuring your brain on stuff I haven't been through in school."
-- Clemson recruit Ray Forsythe, who was ineligible as a freshman because of academic requirements

"I know the Virginia players are smart because you need a 1500 SAT to get in. I have to drop bread crumbs to get our players to and from class."
-- George Raveling, Washington State basketball coach

"Why would anyone expect him to come out smarter? He went to prison for three years, not Princeton."
-- Boxing promoter Dan Duva on Mike Tyson hooking up again with promoter Don King

"I can't really remember the names of the clubs that we went to."
-- Shaquille O'Neal on whether he had visited the Parthenon during his visit to Greece

"The ballparks have gotten too crowded. That's why nobody goes to see the game anymore."
-- Yogi Berra

"I'm going to graduate on time, no matter how long it takes."
-- Senior basketball player at the University of Pittsburgh

"Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein."
-- Football commentator and former player Joe Theismann

"20% of the time, I'm hitting to the left, 20% of the time to the right, and the other 80% I'm hitting the ball up the middle."
-- Former Los Angeles Dodgers second baseman Steve Sax, describing where he hits the baseball

"A third of the crowd will be there to see me, a third will be there to see Billy [Martin], and the other two-thirds will be there to see the Yankees and the Athletics."
-- Baseball outfielder Rickey Henderson, speaking about his return to Oakland in a Yankee uniform, with Billy Martin managing the Yankees

"Our similarities are different."
-- Baseball infielder Dale Berra, son of former Yankee catcher Yogi Berra. Dale was asked to compare himself to his dad

"This is the greatest country in America."
-- Bill Peterson, a Florida State football coach

"One of my players got 4 F's and a D and asked me for advice. I told him that he was spending too much time on one subject."
-- Abe Lemons, former Texas basketball coach

Sport Jokes > Joke 23 of 36 in the Sport Jokes category.
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